on Limiting the Potential of Others

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." 

--Mahatma Gandhi

Before I begin, I would like you to recall all the great things you have been able to do with your life. Think of all you have learned, the friends and relationships you have made, the accomplishments you have, the places you have been, maybe the family you have raised or anything else at all that you feel you have been extremely lucky or blessed to have done or to have happen to you.

Now, take a moment to think of all the amazing things that have been done by so many other outstanding individuals out there as well – great advancements in science, humanity, music or the arts; outstanding feats of strength and courage in battle; pushing the body beyond limits we thought possible in sport; and anything else that you feel demonstrates the near unlimited potential of humans as a species. The human being has climbed mountains, swum oceans, flown the skies, seen into deep space,  studied the smallest particles of matter, cured diseases, built things that can destroy the earth, attained enlightenment, and loved.

Every day we are finding new things that we as a species are capable of. Yet there are many people out there, including many of you, who attempt to limit that possibility in others and who try to control and direct others in ways that suit your needs. And maybe you have been a victim of such controlling or limiting and have had your freedoms taken away. Maybe there are many things that you wanted to do but you have been held back by your religion, customs, family or partner. The greatest thing that we, as humans, have is our freedom. Our unique bodies and minds allow us to break free from the normal bonds which hold animals to the roles of survival and furthering the species.

And what is the ultimate goal that we use this freedom for? It is to find happiness and love, is it not? Why else do you try to make money but to give yourself a life of happiness? Why else do you try to further science other than to give the people of the world understanding and more comfortable lives, hopefully leading to happiness? Why else do you travel if not for pleasure and to broaden your mind, leading to happiness? Why else do you paint or sing? Why else am I writing this?

Why else do you restrict your boyfriend or girlfriend from talking to other people, if not to keep them bound to you, thinking it brings you happiness?

All of you, at some point, have felt the cold clamp of restraint and have hacked at it and tried to break free because you crave freedom which ultimately allows happiness. Every fiber in your being rebels against outside control because your soul is made to fly, climb and swim beyond the boundaries of the known world.

So, tell me, why would you ever put that cold clamp of restraint on somebody else - knowing what it must be doing to them – knowing that you are limiting the unbounded potential of a human being and depriving them of happiness? Why?

There is nothing worse that you can do in this world than to negatively affect another person’s life. You are at the center stage of your own life. You analyze how everything relates to you – the problems you face, the doubts you have, the joys you feel, the relationships you make. But do you not realize that everybody else is at the center of their own stage as well and that they are analyzing everything from their own perspectives? They are not just mindless characters that come in and out of your life, but real people who have you coming in and out of theirs as well.  Their quest for personal happiness is just as strong as yours. They are capable of absolutely anything that our unlimited potential allows – including love and happiness.

Murder is the ultimate destroyer of that potential. Imagine all the beauty and potential of life being wiped away by somebody’s greed or ignorance. Even if somebody has done many bad things they deserve the proper punishment so that they may learn from their mistakes; they do not deserve death. This is because the bigger the mistake you make, the more you want to prevent anybody else from making it too. Even the murderer can learn from his/her mistakes and go on to save many lives. Unfortunately the justice systems of the world are not willing to spend the time or money on properly rehabilitating offenders but death is still not an option.

Rape, violence and intimidation are also extreme controllers. When somebody has been a victim of such things, their outlook on the world can be skewed forever because of the fear that they carry around with them. This fear prevents them from being able to let go and fully trust and love somebody, meaning that happiness is very hard to attain.

Slavery! Empires were built on slavery – using men, women and children as beasts of burden to build all of the World Wonders, among other things, that millions of people flock to every year. A wonder, indeed, that people could have been so barbaric. Human trafficking is a multi-billion dollar enterprise. The unlimited potential of a human being is being sold for the limited potential of money. Lives are being destroyed - happiness being robbed – all for money, which is no guarantee of happiness for the slavers or traffickers that commit these heinous crimes.

Exploitation, a currently legal version of slavery, is taking people who feel that they have no other options available to them - whether it is the poor and destitute of a developing country or a man or woman who is desperate for love – and using them to fulfill others’ needs by taking advantage of their situation. This is another form of control because they are trapped in the exploiters mistreatment by the cage of their desperation which the offenders often help to maintain.

Discrimination – whether by gender, race, religion, nation, age, caste, or sexual orientation – is another obvious way of controlling and limiting that still happens every day all around the world. The idea that one person deserves better than another is ridiculous – we are all born equal and are all capable of great things if given the chance. There is no gender, race, religion, nation, caste or sexual orientation that has not produced outstanding individuals. And all are capable of reaching that common goal of love and happiness.

Maybe you do not know that you are controlling or limiting somebody. If you are a ‘jealous’ partner who gets upset when your partner talks to certain people, wears certain things, does certain things, etc., then you are creating a cage for them to live in. To avoid your displeasure they will avoid doing these things, but of course the reason they wanted to do them in the first place was because they wanted to. Now you are controlling them and reducing their happiness and you do not even notice it because there are no fights about it.

If you have children who you do not allow to do certain things, which are not extremely life threatening, then you are controlling and limiting them as well. Guide them and give them all the information they need to make good decisions, but let them make their own decisions and their own mistakes. They are real people just like you are and should have the ultimate control over their lives. After all, you most likely did not listen to your parents when they did the same and you are probably proud of what you learned because of the mistakes that you made.

We live our lives according to what we know. We take information from the outside world and process it and go about our lives adapting to and using this to help us on our path to happiness. This is reality as we currently know it. So if you change the information that one receives to something that is not true, then their perceived reality is no longer in line with their actual reality. If the lies stand or continue to pile up, their actions, being based on lies, bring their perceived reality further and further from their actual reality, showing that lying is a way of controlling somebody’s life. When the truth finally catches up with them, the realization that they have been living a lie brings them crashing back to their actual reality but with an added fear and distrust. Now a perfectly capable human being is living within the restraints of their fear and distrust.

The only thing anybody will ever own in this entire world is their own life. We are all born naked and when we leave this world we take nothing with us. Give all life the respect it deserves. Nourish it and encourage it to help develop its potential. Imagine a world of seven billion people with the unlimited potential to love and be happy and create happiness. Imagine a world where nobody takes advantage of anybody else, nobody limits or controls anybody else, nobody kills or hurts anybody else, where everybody sees that learning to share this potential, instead of trying to harness it, will bring us much further than we ever thought possible. Imagine this world and all the damage that you could undo by setting free all the people around you. Imagine a world that does not need laws because everybody follows the guiding principle of ‘Do unto others as you would have done unto you”. Imagine.